The cool water felt nice on his skin. The stream washed away
the soap, forming a creamy puddle around his feet.
He kept looking into the mirror as the puddle of foam
started washing away .He saw nothing but the face of a confused old man trying to
justify his own life . The five thousand bucks he got from his pension was all
he had now . She had been paralysed for the last 15 years . It was getting impossible
for him. Their only son had just gotten into a private college. Their
daughter’s husband had called last week,
asking for money . He threatened to
divorce her if he didn’t get it . He was too old to find a job now ……… What the hell was he supposed to do?
He opened the small wooden closet beside the mirror . Her
expired old lipsticks, her eyeliners , her perfumes everything lied there in
one corner ,covered in dust .
A teardrop escaped his threshold , travelled through the
folds on his face, hung on from the chin for a few seconds, and then plunged into the
deforming puddle at his feet.
He didn’t dry himself , instead he put on a pair of old
pajamas and dragged himself to their bedroom . There she was ….lying so
peacefully . His eyes looked at her lifeless body lying in front of him . He kneeled down and kissed her forehead .
It’s been years since she had last kissed him back . A peaceful expression had
always covered her pretty face . But he
knew she was hurting . He knew it was selfish to keep her paralysed body alive
for his own wants . But he wasn’t ready to let go of her yet . He never will be
.
He slowly laid down beside her and tried to get the fragrance of her hair . It still smelt wonderful . He slowly curled up around her body and covered his eyes with her hair . The light still hurt his eyes as he tried to remember everything …..
They met when they were in college . “The Perfect Couple” everyone called them .Both of them were from mid-class families , both of them liked classical music and both of them were madly in love with each other . They would miss each other even if they were apart for a single second . They would take care of each other and knew everything about each other , even when they were far apart . They married with everyone’s consent and were on their way to having the perfect life . 5 years into their marriage , they already had a 3 year old daughter and a newborn son . They vowed to each other to take care of their children , no matter what .
6 years had passed without a speck of dust on their perfect family . It was the night before their 7th anniversary . They had left the kids at a neighbor’s house and gone out to a romantic date . She took a long time to get ready he remembers . But it was worth the wait . In her full-length ,sequined red gown she looked more beautiful than what anyone would ever define as beauty .
They went to a luxurious greek restaurant for dinner , and ordered the priciest things on the menu . They ordered a bottle of red wine with their meal . It was almost 12 when they realized that they were late . They rushed to their car and he started driving at 80 on the empty road . The alcohol fueled adrenaline had blurred his sense and his vision .
That one accident had shattered their life. He was saved but she was paralysed for life. With two children and his lack of savings , it was getting tough for him to stay within sanity . Everyone told him to remarry , but he ignored them . He wanted her to be with him . He wanted his children to know their mother .
Today , he was forced into retirement . He was 53 and young recruits were lining up for his job .The company allotted him a mere pension and handed him the one week notice . He came home and looked at her sitting on her wheelchair , still not moving . She hadn’t moved for 15 years , but some wicked sense of hope had forced him into keeping her alive . He opened the drawer and counted his savings . Twenty thousand bucks , he counted . Half of what he owed to loan-sharks . He looked at her once more . She was still lying there , showing no sign of life . In a split moment of desperation , he lunged at her lifeless body and grabbed her by the neck . He tightened his grasp until her muscles relaxed and she stopped breathing . He couldn’t look at her anymore , he quickly escaped into the shower .
**
He glanced at the small spider at the corner of the room ,it was busy doing it’s own thing , not caring about the emotional battle he was going through . Her face seemed much calmer than it usually did ; he gave her a tighter hug, almost crushing her bones in his strong arms . But she didn’t fight back , her body didn't reciprocate anymore . She was dead , already far away from him .
He slowly laid down beside her and tried to get the fragrance of her hair . It still smelt wonderful . He slowly curled up around her body and covered his eyes with her hair . The light still hurt his eyes as he tried to remember everything …..
They met when they were in college . “The Perfect Couple” everyone called them .Both of them were from mid-class families , both of them liked classical music and both of them were madly in love with each other . They would miss each other even if they were apart for a single second . They would take care of each other and knew everything about each other , even when they were far apart . They married with everyone’s consent and were on their way to having the perfect life . 5 years into their marriage , they already had a 3 year old daughter and a newborn son . They vowed to each other to take care of their children , no matter what .
6 years had passed without a speck of dust on their perfect family . It was the night before their 7th anniversary . They had left the kids at a neighbor’s house and gone out to a romantic date . She took a long time to get ready he remembers . But it was worth the wait . In her full-length ,sequined red gown she looked more beautiful than what anyone would ever define as beauty .
They went to a luxurious greek restaurant for dinner , and ordered the priciest things on the menu . They ordered a bottle of red wine with their meal . It was almost 12 when they realized that they were late . They rushed to their car and he started driving at 80 on the empty road . The alcohol fueled adrenaline had blurred his sense and his vision .
That one accident had shattered their life. He was saved but she was paralysed for life. With two children and his lack of savings , it was getting tough for him to stay within sanity . Everyone told him to remarry , but he ignored them . He wanted her to be with him . He wanted his children to know their mother .
Today , he was forced into retirement . He was 53 and young recruits were lining up for his job .The company allotted him a mere pension and handed him the one week notice . He came home and looked at her sitting on her wheelchair , still not moving . She hadn’t moved for 15 years , but some wicked sense of hope had forced him into keeping her alive . He opened the drawer and counted his savings . Twenty thousand bucks , he counted . Half of what he owed to loan-sharks . He looked at her once more . She was still lying there , showing no sign of life . In a split moment of desperation , he lunged at her lifeless body and grabbed her by the neck . He tightened his grasp until her muscles relaxed and she stopped breathing . He couldn’t look at her anymore , he quickly escaped into the shower .
**
He glanced at the small spider at the corner of the room ,it was busy doing it’s own thing , not caring about the emotional battle he was going through . Her face seemed much calmer than it usually did ; he gave her a tighter hug, almost crushing her bones in his strong arms . But she didn’t fight back , her body didn't reciprocate anymore . She was dead , already far away from him .
“I couldn’t have done this !! I should have never even thought of it … Come back please!! I should have waited a little longer . I should have taken more pain !! Come back to me , I need you ! Please come back to me …. Please wake up!!” ,he screamed ..
But he could hear nothing but the sound of his own teardrops …… and the sound of his own pathetic guilt .
-Dhrubo
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